Choose Happy
A friend shared with me today, that she’d had an epiphany about happiness; that, she realized that she could actually, “choose happy”. And, that by choosing this emotion, over the darker alternative, that things would be better and lighter. I suggested practicing this, within each moment; because truly, all that we have is this very moment. Living in the past, creates depression. Living in the future; anxiety. This moment is all that exists; as we never know what tomorrow will bring. We don’t even know if we will even see tomorrow. Living in the moment, allows us to be mindful, present and ultimately, happy, within each moment. I practice this, myself, as much as possible.
As, I’ve penned in earlier posts, I practice this kind of, ‘choosing happy’ regularly. I have chosen to live for the now; to see the gifts in everything that exists within the moments I am given. I choose to allow myself to revel in each experience that I am lucky enough to have, and to be grateful for every breath I am allowed to take each and every day; and to see it as the gift that it truly is. In doing so, I find and choose the happiness within each of these moments. I choose to take deeper breaths, and see things as more beautiful, colorful and wondrous. I choose the scenic route, over the quick route. And I choose, the moment I am in, over the last or the next.
This doesn’t mean that I don’t reflect or plan. I do; I reflect on the past, but don’t dwell there. I visit but don’t live in that time. I look back long enough to see where I’ve been and what I’ve learned there. I also look to the future; to plan. To plan for what might come to pass. But I don’t dwell there, either. I try not to get caught up on what might be; what I want, what I want to do, or where I want to go in my life. In fact, my plans for myself, rarely end up looking like I envision them for myself, in the first place. Usually, fate has other plans for me, anyway.
To be clear, just because I choose happiness over sadness; joy, over bitterness or regret, doesn’t mean that my life is without hardship or struggles. It doesn’t mean I have my life completely together. On the contrary, I am human; and in my humanness, I have many flaws and weaknesses. I suffer from chronic pain; living with a broken back and brain. I have had family troubles, relationship troubles, and both, mental and physical health struggles; like most people suffer through. I am a cracked vessel. But, as so many have said; in so many different ways, it is the cracked vessels that let in the most, light. Hemingway actually went as far as to suggest that is in these cracks, or, in his words, “broken places”, that we are usually the strongest once we have healed. Suggesting that, if we hang on, and “choose happy”, then we will eventually be stronger for it, in the long run.
So, that’s what I’ve done. I’ve hung on; through pain and sorrow, grief and loss, and through innumerable struggles. I’ve chosen happiness; and decidedly and intentionally, lived in the moment and found beauty and joy in each moment. I’ve chosen light over darkness, and relief over pain in each of these moments. In each of those moments, I ‘chose happy’. I’ve trusted in the divine; and found peace and joy, where none should have existed.
I believe that there is a divine purpose for everyone; a plan for each of us, a person for everyone, and a life of happiness that is planned out, and that exists for those who believe it possible. Who am I to interfere with these plans? I’ve tried, time and time again to script my life; by choosing partners that didn't fit me, taking on roles that weren't meant for me, and doing jobs that nearly destroyed me. It never worked. Every time I’ve tried, I’ve either failed, or made things worse, in one way or the other. And, as I’m seeing so clearly again, right now, I always end up led back to where I was supposed to be anyway; usually, coming full circle.
So, I’ve stopped trying to plan too much, or too far ahead; I've stopped trying to 'find happy, within relationships or jobs, or other life circumstances. Because I’ve grown tired of making the wrong choices; tired of going in circles. I’ve surrendered the decision-making, and the outcome of these decisions, to the will of fate, itself. I’ve entrusted my life to divine intervention, instead; which has allowed me the peace and freedom I needed, to choose happy each and every day. And, with each and every breath I take. It has allowed me to see what this friend shared with me tonight; that, regardless of circumstances, and no matter how hard life can be, at times. No matter how uncertain we are about what life will or will not bring us, if we believe it possible, we can ‘choose happy’.