See the World Through Eyes Full of Grace
Today is my brother’s birthday. My baby brother, Christian, would be forty-six today, had he not died in cabin fire, in Dawson City, Yukon in 2004. I like to think that, I’ve helped to keep him alive in some ways, throughout the years that have passed, since he passed. I’ve kept his memory alive through talking about him, starting a group on social media for family and friends to tell stories about and share pictures of him and, by writing about him in various blog posts.
As, I’ve explained in earlier posts I’ve penned, my brother moved to Dawson City several years before he died. He’d gone out west (Canada) first, then ended up in the Yukon, where he lived off the land, in a cabin he built, out in the middle of the bush along the Yukon River. I never made it out there to see him, and he only made it home once, to see us. Other than a few letters exchanged and a few phone calls, our communication was very limited while he was out there. My kids never got to know him and I barely knew the man he grew into. Which, was one of the reasons I originally set up the group on social media to honour him; to get to know him through the eyes of his friends.
What I learned, was that, for all his faults and all his vices, he was a good man. He had great compassion and empathy, and saw people as they were; human and imperfect. If anyone could have seen through his eyes, they would have seen grace, in its purest form. His empathy came from the demons that he fought every day; from our childhood and the scars it left in his heart and mind.
Searching for the definition of grace I discovered the following defining terms and words; a disposition to be generous, or helpful, goodwill, mercy, immunity, Divine favour, a favour rendered by someone who doesn’t need to do so, immunity or exemption, reprieve, redemption, the opposite of sin or wrong-doing, forgiving sin or wrong-doing, a disposition to kindness and compassion.
Christian treated others with compassion because he knew what it was like to be treated without compassion. And, even when his demons came out to play; when his anger got the best of him, and he couldn’t see himself or the world clearly, he still saw others through eyes of grace, which allowed him to be a better man than he, himself, thought he was. Even when he failed at seeing himself the way others saw him; even when he didn’t realize the kind of man he really was, he still made it his purpose to help others. To try to forgive others. He had a generous, merciful and kind disposition; the very definition of grace.
Thinking about Christian, and how he lived his life; running away from his demons but helping to slay others’ demons, I often wonder how he became so good with the hardship he endured throughout his life. How he became so good, without a model for this goodness. I often wonder, if grace were a person, what face would it have? Would it look like someone like Christian, who’d both literally and metaphorically wandered through the wilderness his entire life? Who came out of that same wilderness, as a light in the darkness for others.
If grace had eyes, how would they see the world? If you had the eyes of grace, how would you view the world? Would you, like Christian, see the goodness in people; love them as they were? If you could see through the eyes of grace, how would you view yourself and others? Would you see the light that existed within them, instead of seeing their darkness? Would you see the goodness and light in yourself, like Christian never could? How would your view of people change, seeing them through eyes of grace? How would your view of the world change, seeing through these eyes? Would you grant reprieve, immunity and forgiveness to the people you viewed, like Christian did? Would you treat yourself and others with the same compassion?
Would you be as helpful and generous, as someone like Christian was? Even when he had little to give, materially; was able to give spiritually. Would you be more merciful? Would you help people up, instead of knocking them down; see and accept them as they were, instead of judging them? Would you see through them, into them; see into their soul, versus seeing their behaviour and deeds? Would you forgive their humanness, as you would like them to forgive yours; treat them as you would like to be treated, in the same way he did? Would you try to find the essence of divinity within them, or get stuck on what stood before you; a face?
Would you see that there might be a plan in place for them; that they might be playing a bigger role in their own life and the lives of others, than what you know, can see or even possibly, comprehend. Would you realize that it is not for you to judge others; lest you be judged, yourself. Realize that, what they do and what they give to or take away from the world around them, is their lot, not yours? Would you treat all people as one race; human race; accepting that we are all one piece of a greater whole, and that we need to work together as one. That the strong need to bear the failings of the weak; accept them, serve them, care for them and help to build them up.
Despite any failings he might have had; despite his humanness, Christian knew this. Despite the fact that he’d not been taught how, he lived this way. Despite that he’d not had anyone to model this way of being, he just simply was this way and modelled this way for others. Because, despite its flaws, he lived and loved from the heart. Which is what enabled him to see through the eyes of grace.
Grace; a divine word whispered in the ears of those who walk this path, and live this way, despite having walked through the wilderness, themselves; or perhaps, because they wandered through the wilderness. Grace; a human word for compassion. As Pema Chödrön once wrote, "Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It's a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”
Grace is the same and is given in the same way; it cannot be given by someone who doesn’t have it or understand it. It is not handed to you, from someone standing above you but someone who, if you are down or are low, squats down with you and meets you where you are. It’s a divine gift given freely to all. Some accept it and others don’t but it’s given to all, equally.
It’s given to all to have, to share and to see through the eyes of. In our humanness, we often judge others. We often forget to love them, as they are. We often put ourselves above others and forget that none of us are perfect. That we all have scars and weaknesses that were caused by these scars. Not one of us is better than another; not one of us has wandered through the wilderness and been left unscathed. Not one of us is more or less deserving of compassion. Not one of us is more or less deserving of the gift of grace. More of us need to live by Christian’s example. More of us need to see through the eyes of grace and see others rightly. Each of us need to see life, love, and divinity, through the same eyes Christian did; eyes that were full of grace.
