Follow Your Own Arrow
Be Your Own Arrow and Mind Your Own Business
Follow your own arrow
I picked up my phone this morning, and opened a variety of social media apps to check what people have been up to over the first few days of the new year, and new decade. It was overwhelming. I felt like I was being screamed at to, “buy this… be this… do this”, or was being told I, “need this”, and so on. Suddenly, I could see how difficult it is for people these days, to focus on what they want and need without distraction. There are so many, ‘in your face’ opinions and ideas on how you should live your life. Influencers and coaches, wellness consultants and online businesses of every kind, telling you what you need; to be happier, to make more money, to be thinner, to have more friends, and even, to find your soulmate. So many opinions but absolutely no guidance; unless you pay for their course or subscribe to their feed.
It’s hard to make any decisions about what direction our lives need to go or how to do that, when we live amidst this chaos full of ‘experts’ who want to tell us how to live. It’s hard to find quiet and peace, away from these distractions to find and use our own voice. I said in an earlier post, titled, “Authentic You”, that “being authentic doesn’t involve doing what someone else tells you to do”. It’s about being and doing you, authentically. It involves learning to listen to your own voice and to do what it’s telling you to do; live by the heart. It’s about being who you really and truly are, by knowing yourself enough to know how to do just that.
In the same way, how can others be their own authentic selves, when we’re telling them what to do? If they’re not listening to their own voices, because our voices are so loud that they can’t hear their own. I realize that, ironically, some of my posts may come across in a similar manner; highlighting what I’ve done or do, to be well. The difference being, I am sharing my experiences to inspire and to suggest you listen to your own voice to help you decipher what you need. I’m sharing my experiences to illustrate that this can be done. That it’s possible to follow your own arrow, and to help others do the same.
Mind your own business
Part of this process involves others minding their own business; allowing you the quiet you need to hear your own inner voice. Or, you quieting their voices in order to listen to your own. And it involves, you minding your own business, as well; worrying about you and your life, and all that this entails. So, you can hear your own voice, and heed your own advice. That doesn’t mean you can’t accept others help or help others; on the contrary, we actually help ourselves through helping others if we can help selflessly and without allowing their problems into our lives.
After policing and crisis counselling for a time, I’ve come to realize that people need each other. They need to share their stories with one another, help each other and reach out to one another when they need help. Some things are on a need to know basis in certain situations, though. Some things, I don’t want or need to know. Seems funny coming from a woman who has shared her life and scars with so many people, and publicly. But it’s a truth that I embrace fully and is part of being a better human.
After seeing so many people at their worst or in the worst fifteen minutes of their lives, I know that there are things that we all need to share and things we need to put away for a time while we process. Some people will eventually share; some, even with a large audience. While, others never will. Knowing that, this should highlight how there are some things that are none of our business and are better left untouched. People’s lives and stories are their own. It’s none of our business unless they want to make it ours; and vice versa. Whether because they need help or simply want to share. Even when they do share, it’s still not for me to judge. That includes my children, my family and my friends. I’m invested in their lives but that doesn’t give me a right to intrude on them or invade their privacy or space unless they ask me to. It's certainly not my place to judge them or their decisions. When they do ask for my help, I listen, offer a hand to help them and let them make their own decisions. I don’t give advice, and I don’t disempower them by telling them what direction to go.
I know that it’s none of my business; what people wear, how they act, what they believe. It’s none of my business what people put in their bodies; whether that speaks to their eating habits, use of medications or sexual orientation. It’s not my business and it’s not up to me to judge them for it. Judging another human being allows for them to do the same to me. I don’t care if they judge me, but it’s still not something that a good human does.
Be a Good Human
Being a good, authentic human involves listening to your heart; to where it leads your inner voice. If you listen well, it won’t lead you astray; if it’s pure and true. Keeping your heart, mind and spirit pure; and listening to its intentions. Ridding yourself of anger, malice, greed, envy and being proud without being prideful and boastful. Listening to the voice that tells you what being a good human means. Listening to your own voice and doing what it tells you what you need to do, to be a good and authentic version of you that the five-year-old you would be proud of.
Most of all, it involves helping each other, serving each other and being a good friend. Getting to know yourself, learning to love yourself and being the friend you need, as well the one your friends need. And, it involves loving one another. Especially those who seemingly deserve it the least.
Being an authentic, good human involves doing all of these things; for you and with you. Listening to you, loving you, not judging you and being compassionate with you; in the same way you would with others. Not a recipe per se, but a guidebook to help you to follow your own arrow through minding your own business.