Symbols of Remembrance
Today, a friend posted her thoughts on Poppies on social media. The day after Remembrance Day, and it hit a nerve. I love this friend, she is all about peace and love and I don’t think she has a malicious bone in her body but I am honestly having a difficult time seeing things from her point of view. As I’ve said before, I have friends from all different backgrounds; military, police, teachers, professors, yogis, doctors, lawyers, counsellors and social workers, artists, actors, musicians and dancers, etc. This makes for a well-rounded and rather interesting social circle. It makes a very strong tribe. I love them all in different ways, and for different reasons and most of them who’ve met one another, get on quite well together, despite their differences. Most of them find it as easy to find common ground with one another, as I did/do with them.
What makes them different is their diverse backgrounds, their political views and their perspectives on social issues. What makes them the same is their desire for peace, their need to serve and protect others, and to effect change in whatever way they are capable of doing so. What makes them the same, is what attracted me to them, or them to me and them to one another; compassion. In our sameness, we find connection and common ground that helps us to each safely be ourselves within the tribe we have created. Within our differences, we find the ability to see and accept one another as we are; for who we are, exactly where we are, and to be respectful of these differences. We don’t need to agree to love and respect one another. We can be our true and authentic selves and still find acceptance within. It’s beautiful and inspiring. And, most times, I listen to others’ opinions and either agree; or silently disagree and continue to love and respect them, or openly but respectively disagree. In this particular case, I haven’t remained silent, because I have very strong emotional attachment to this particular topic.
I have expressed myself and my opinion quite respectfully but even more so, openly and freely. Her statement was that poppies weren’t so important in honoring our War Dead, our Veterans and our serving Military. That, “keeping the peace every day, being kind to one another, accepting and appreciating each other’s differences” was how she felt we should honour our soldiers. And, although I agree that we should be kind and accepting of one another, and that we should; like our tribe, honour one another's differences and learn from each other. And, even though I understand that she feels that peace is as easy as that, I have to respectfully disagree that this is all it takes for there to be peace.
As someone who is a Veteran, with a daughter who is still serving, with more than half my family who have served, and as someone who has lost comrades, I also believe in speaking peace and living peacefully. However, I feel the need to point out that, when poppies are worn by Military members and Veterans, or family and friends of both; they are worn both in remembrance of their fallen ancestors, family, friends and comrades. They are also purchased for the purpose of raising money to help support our serving military, Veterans and their family members. This is why poppies matter and, this is why serving Military and Veterans will always see the importance of the red Poppy. Every soldier knows that freedom is not free and that peace is unfortunately, seldom achieved through peaceful means, historically.
Either way, the Poppy is just another symbol of Remembrance. In this case, the red Poppy is a symbol of Remembrance for those who have served, are still serving, have sacrificed for this service, and who have died for their country and their country’s freedom. Unlike the alternative white Poppy; also known as the “Peace Poppy”, created and circulated as a way of attempting to promote peace and reject the idea that war and conflict are appropriate tools for social change. Sounds wonderful in theory but realistically, how often has freedom been achieved without conflict? Not that I’m advocating for conflict or violence of any kind but history is pretty clear on how our freedoms have been obtained. Through sacrifice of the soldiers. Through conflict and bloodshed, unfortunately. Every soldier wants peace but knows that it’s not that simple. And every soldier has the right to believe in the importance of the red Poppy; as a symbol of remembrance and a means by which to honour their comrades, their fallen comrades, and their ancestors. To honour those who are responsible for assuring their freedom, and our soldiers who continue to keep the peace for us; through whatever means necessary.
Like the red Poppy, there are many symbols of remembrance used both Canada-wide and internationally. But the red Poppy seems to be the only one that gets questioned or challenged regularly. Like the red Poppy, there are several flowers that symbolize remembrance throughout the world, and even in Canada, alone. In India, the Marigold flower is now used as a symbol of remembrance of Indian Soldiers who fought in the first World War. In Newfoundland, Canada, Forget-Me-Not flowers have a special meaning. Before joining Canada in 1949, Newfoundland and Labrador observed Memorial Day on July 1st each year; to remember the casualties suffered by the Royal Newfoundland Regiment on July 1st, 1916 during the Battle of the Somme. Also, much like the poppy, this flower’s origin symbolism was that of respect, and later became a source of revenue to further help wounded veterans. Tulips; symbolizing gratitude, also have roots in the second World War. Daisies; symbolizing Hope and Resistance, originating in Holland and having ties with Canada beginning throughout the second World War, as well. Laurel; symbolizing victory, and the basis of wreaths is seen quite early on, being used by Greeks and Romans as crowns by the victors of sporting events (like the Olympics). Known also, as both a symbol of victory and death, and sometimes used to decorate stone monuments. Laurel can be found on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier inside the National War Memorial in Ottawa. Rosemary; in ancient times, was thought to be able to enhance or strengthen memory. Australians show their respect on ANZAC Day; the landing of troops from Australia and New Zealand in Turkey, in World War one, by wearing Rosemary in their coat lapels. The Maple Leaf; a Canadian military symbol, incorporated into the badge of the Royal Canadians (100th Regiment) in 1860, and eventually used on most Military badges and insignias throughout the first and second World Wars, in Canada. Eventually became a part of our National flag, in 1965. Our Maple Leaf is a symbol of pride and patriotism for Canadians and, unlike the red Poppy, is never challenged as such.
There are also ribbons that hold the same kind of symbolism as these flowers, including the Poppy. Awareness and remembrance ribbons; some to support our troops, some for awareness of diseases, like cancer, HIV/Aids. Some to spread awareness about these diseases, and some worn to remember those who have died as a result of of such diseases. Some to symbolize remembrance of those lost to violence; through sexual violence and domestic violence, or bullying. All, raising awareness and funds through the sales and wearing of these ribbons; just like the red Poppy. But again, unlike the red Poppy, all are quite socially acceptable symbols of remembrance that aren’t challenged by others as being a way of highlighting violence, illness or disease. They are accepted as a way of honoring those lost to these unfortunate circumstances.
Why then, is the red Poppy always subject to such debate? Why can we not simply wear our Poppies proudly, the same way others wear their ribbons and other flowers; or how some light candles, place flowers, or wear black as a way of remembering their dead? We all remember in our own way. None of these symbols of remembrance glorify the acts of violence that so often have befallen the dead we are honoring and remembering. So how, really is the red Poppy any different than any of these other symbols? From my experience, with an enormous Military family - and my own experience as a soldier and veteran - and after losing comrades, poppies matter to me/to us/to those I know and love. It's a symbol of remembrance. Just like the white ribbons, yellow ribbons, blue ribbons, thin blue lines; just like the marigold, in India to honour their fallen. Or, something that resonates with me and most of my tribe, the wearing of purple to remember and honour those who have been affected by Domestic Violence and Sexual Violence.
We all honour and remember in our own way. None should ever judge another. for how they honour and remember their dead. None should ever judge another, period. If you choose not to wear a poppy for your own reasons, you are free to do so because of our ancestors who fought for that freedom, and because of those who still serve to keep that freedom alive. Red Poppies mean something to us; and by us, I mean myself, my family members, comrades and friends, and ancestors who have served because we have served. Some want nothing to do with 'remembering' but still hold pride in what they have done and who and what they have served, despite their brokenness resulting from service. We serve(d) because it matters to us, because our comrades matter to us and we want to protect others; and so that people can be free to wear the red poppy, white poppy, the marigold or nothing at all.
I don't mind if someone isn't wearing a poppy but I will always wear one proudly and with great sadness and remembrance. I laid two poppies on the cenotaph yesterday, after the ceremony; in remembrance of two very good friends and comrades who died, as well as all family and friends and 'brothers' and 'sisters' who sacrificed for this country. I was not wearing a poppy after the ceremony for this reason. Had someone asked where my poppy was, however, I would be free to tell them where and why I wasn't wearing one, without fear of persecution, as we all are! And, if they judged me for not wearing a poppy I would simply allow them their opinion, because they are also free to do so; whether it be shrouded in ignorance or arrogance or well-intentioned. And, even though I love and respect all members of my tribe; regardless of their political views, social ideals or backgrounds, I still have times where I can respectfully disagree and express this freely because of those dead I am honoring when wearing my red Poppy.