The Golden Rule of Humanity
"The pen is mightier than the sword" - Edward Bulwer-Lytton. So, wield it responsibly.
As I said in an earlier post, most people who serve in the military have a sense of belonging. A 'brotherhood', that forms out of extreme circumstances and, comes with the expectation that they have each other’s’ six. Most do, but some are less well-intentioned. And, some are close off to everyone but their 'brothers'. Some isolate themselves from those who are either not a part of this 'brotherhood', or those who they deem unworthy; civilians, and in some cases, even family members, other military members and veterans.
I don’t know if it’s ignorance or arrogance on their behalf – or just an outright refusal to see all of the facts before making a swift judgement - but within only a few days of posting my, “As You Were” article on my blog; a metaphor – not an analogy, {A metaphor is an implicit simile, while analogy is an explicit one. Put differently, a metaphor is literally false, while an analogy is literally true. Metaphors need a bit more imagination to interpret, while analogies are readily apparent} (Exchange, 2012) I was met with the snide remarks and adversity that I had anticipated. I expected to be challenged by some, as I have had done so many times before.
One such person even told me that he felt my, “pop up videos” were useless to him and didn’t understand why I wanted him to watch, “one single bullshit video”, or how I expected him to, “change [his] forty years of opinion”. Initially, I responded in attempt to enlighten him as to what the reality of the content of this particular article was; a metaphor about the difficulties some have adjusting to civilian life after a life of service, and at the same time, my survivor story of military sexual trauma. That it was about illness and injury, and my journey to getting my life back after several physical and psychological traumas. Eventually, after too many personal jabs by him (one is too many these days, as I have tried to suck the poison out of my life for my mental health), I just chose my battles more wisely, and instead of fighting with him, banned him from the page.
Every derogatory or ignorant comment since has resulted in the same for the person commenting. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind being challenged, and I welcome others’ opinion and thoughts on both the process of transitioning; overcoming and living healthier, and on my articles and posts. What I don’t like and will no longer allow; in my life, in my relationships and on any of my social media accounts, posts and blogs is unnecessary cruelty. It spreads poison and darkness, and causes more harm to the person behind the keyboard. It’s not just veterans and serving military who do this. It’s everyone with a dark thought, or those lacking empathy and compassion, and with a deep inherent need to get their point across at all costs.
It’s so easy – too easy - these days to be cruel and unkind to one another. Everyone has access to their own virtual soapbox that is readily available, and literally at their fingertips. It allows for partial to full anonymity and, the ability to not have to say it face to face; gives the author/commenter the ability to express their unfiltered truth, no matter how cruel, hurtful or arrogant that may be. They often don’t read the full story. They don’t see – or care to see - the whole picture. They don’t seem to care what battles are going on behind the scenes. They just want to scream out into the void, “you’re wrong and I’m right”, “you’re stupid and I’m smart”, “your life isn’t as bad as mine”, “your story is ‘bullshit”, etc. Basically, stating that they matter more than you. That, in itself is the real ‘bullshit’. No-one matters more than anyone else. Everyone has a story, and everyone deserves the opportunity to tell it. Everyone deserves to be heard, as long as they’re not hurting others by doing so.
As I said earlier, I expected some of these types of comments. The internet is full of these, “keyboard warriors”, and they often surface, lash out with cruelty and arrogance just to make themselves feel superior or fly their flag of bravado. And they more often than not, do so without considering what consequences that might have on another person. Without even considering that the fingers that typed the words they are so cruelly and crassly disregarding and disagreeing with, actually belong to another human being; one with a face, a heart and a story behind their article/post/comment. Without considering what harm they might be inflicting on another human being with their words.
It has been long stated that, the pen is mightier than the sword. It holds a lot of weight when it comes to this type of cyber interaction - cyber bullying, really. In this case, the keyboard is mightier. If one article, one post, one e-book can change a person’s life; for better or worse, as seems to be the theme these days being sold by all of the virtual Life Coaches and Social Media ‘Influencers’ out there, then so can one comment change or affect one persons life (also, for better or worse).
Just like the power of virtual coaches and influencers to some, the darker side of that sees the ‘keyboard warrior’ holding power that they don’t understand or know how to wield. They often wield their ‘pen’ – or in this case, keyboard – with carelessness; not knowing (and sometimes, not caring) how their words will affect someone else. In fact, there is a very strong correlation between cyber bullying and suicide; but that doesn’t seem to be on their mind when they engage in virtual flagellation of a complete stranger from behind their laptop screen.
We need to be more cautious with our words. For those of a spiritual nature, Christianity teaches that our tongues have the power of life and death. It declares, “that life and death are in the power of the tongue” – Proverbs 18:21; and Proverbs 15:4 suggests, “A soothing tongue [speaking in a way that is encouraging to others and builds them up] is a tree of life, but a perversive tongue [speaking in a way that hurts or causes emotional harm to others] crushes the spirit.”. Buddhism teaches a similar principle; that of “Right Speech” – “Abstaining from lying, from divisive speech, from abusive speech, and from idle chatter”, as part of the Noble Eightfold Path. Divisive and abusive speech being hateful and intolerant speech with harmful intent. I use Christianity and Buddhism, only because of my spiritual path thus far but all religions seem to share similar sentiments when considering how we treat one another.
Take the “Golden Rule”, of the ‘Do unto others’ principle. In Christianity, it is expressed through various renditions of “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” – Matthew 7:12, New Living Translation. In Buddhism, “"Hurt not others with that which pains yourself." Buddhism: 560 BC, From the Udanavarga 5:18. (the photo attached to this article shows other religion’s similar teachings).
You don’t have to be spiritual to treat others rightly and fairly, however. You only need to be humane. You need to have some semblance of humanity in you. Part of having humanity, is having compassion for other human beings, and allowing them to be and feel heard, unconditionally accepted and not judged or harmed by you. Part of having humanity, involves the Buddhist principle – or whichever principle your faith or religion considers the same – of “Right Speech”.
We need to be careful with our words. We need to consider how we would feel if someone used the same words to describe how they felt about us, or our expressions. We need to be cautious and more aware of the effect our words can have on others, and even on ourselves. We need to do unto others, and say unto others what we would have them do and say unto us; or “hurt not others, with that which pains us”- Buddha.
And for our serving military, first responders and veterans; we need to have each other's six. We need to treat and, "serve and protect" one another with the same amount of compassion and empathy with which we do for others. We need to listen to each other's stories and allow them to express their feelings about their journeys without judgement. We need to use our words wisely and and carefully. And, we need to "hurt not [our brothers and sisters] with that which pains us".
