Corporal 'Cornflake'
"It’s not about who I am, okay. It’s about who they are. They are people who hate, and they divide, and they feed off of people who don’t fight back. Yeah I could laugh this off, but what about the girl who can’t? Who’s gonna help her. Silence only makes them stronger." ~ One Tree Hill
"Corporal Cornflake" is a derogatory term used to describe Military Police (MP) Corporals who get promoted upon completion of their training. They do this; promote them immediately, because unlike most other police services in Canada, MP have to have college or university, or a six month tour to be hired with the Military Police. They ask for this so, they can justify promoting them to this rank to allow for them to get the pay required to recruit police officers within the ranks. The trade still pays less than other police services once you've got a few years in, until you're promoted to Sgt and above, anyway. Despite that, most who continue serving and don't jump ship to another police service do so either; because of duty to country, pride in the uniform or because they like where they are. Or because they don't want to leave their brothers and sisters, and feel a sense of safety and belonging with them.
Most people who serve in the military have the same sense of belonging. They have a brotherhood that they are supposed to be a part of, and are supposed to have each other’s six (look out for one another). The problem with this sense of belonging is that, they often feel as though no one else understands them. That civilians couldn’t possibly get what it’s like to live a life of service and sacrifice, or understand what kind of strength and tenacity – physical and psychological – it takes to do the job they do. So, some push everyone not associated with this lifestyle out of their lives, or isolate themselves from friends and family who don’t share the same ethos.
As I have mentioned in previous posts, feeling that sense of 'belonging' within the ranks, you begin to rely heavily on your brotherhood; you start to need their support and crave their attention, affection and approval. You’ll do, say and feel just about anything to get it. So, some of you buy into the groupthink mentality at times; that weakness is bad, that no one has ever had it harder than you, that no one is stronger than you and your brothers and sisters in arms; and, that you need to point that out – often very cruelly. This can often be seen on active military and veteran’s social media groups and pages. The term, "cornflake" and it's synonymous terms are thrown around regularly. 'Cornflake' - aka - 'new recruit' or those 'behaving like new recruits'. Also known to be used, like the term, ”snowflake”, to described those deemed 'weak' or those who complain. This is how some of their members interact with one another, and how they cull the herd.
I have experienced this, myself many times. When posing the difficult questions that no one wants to hear; or when challenging an archaic and, often patriarchal or misogynistic thought pattern (sorry fellas, I know it's not ALL of you). Or when standing up for myself or others in an environment that would rather see everyone stand together in their ordinary sameness and be wrong, than be unique and stand out to be heard and often, be right. I’ve lost friends for posing those questions or stating unpopular opinion, I have been ousted and ostracized, and in some cases, I’ve been outright bullied by some – publicly, harshly tarred and feathered. That is so often, what happens when you speak up about a broken system.
I’m not the only one saying it but the audience I chose to speak to previously didn’t want to hear what I had to say. So, I chose a new audience and found others who could relate. There are thousands of Military Sexual Trauma (MST) survivors, and even more broken and damaged Veterans who have been through as much trauma and loss for different reasons and from a different perspective. I’ve been physically and psychologically broken, battered and bruised because of my service and others have been through the same and much worse, in some ways. I have chosen a healing path – a journey to wellness and balance. A journey to find new purpose and meaning in life and to continue serving others from a new role and perspective. Some aren’t so lucky. Some don’t have a choice. Some have paid the ultimate price, and given their lives – whether in combat overseas, or some who; combatting their own demons at home, lost the battle and took their own lives. I have almost done the same a few times throughout the years.
It’s not been until just the past few years where I’ve finally found the purpose and meaning to keep going and to make me want to fight harder and live better. That said, I have sacrificed a lot throughout this journey, and for the ability to walk this path. I’ve had to walk away from many things and people, and have learned to avoid many of the things that trigger me; like social media groups full of bitter or improperly socialized serving military and veterans. I’ve chosen to remove myself from some of these groups and recuse myself from participation in some, both virtual and real groups and social settings involving the ‘Hard Army Sgt’s’ and ‘Angry Corporal’ types who use terms like, "Cornflake". I have chosen to do this for my mental health and wellness.
I knew however, that in writing some of my blog posts, that I would come across these people again. The internet is full of these, “keyboard warriors”, as they’re often called; who tear others down. Some do it for the bravado and to make them feel superior to the writer/author of the writing/comments/posts, others do it because the content or dialogue makes them uncomfortable and they react accordingly. I had one such case already yesterday. A comment from a brand new, fresh out of training, soldier who felt it both necessary and appropriate to call me out for using my “Farnham photo” (a picture of me in Cadpat [Canadian Disruptive Pattern camouflage uniform] combats) and camouflage paint on my face that everyone gets done while they’re in the field portion of their basic training in St Jean now. The purpose of this photo was to show a visual representation of the person I had become throughout training, and provide the reader with this visual to spark their imagination about what was brewing below the surface and behind the camouflage when I was sexually assaulted and didn’t report it right away.
My first response was to hide his comment and forget about it - sweeping it under the virtual rug, like I'd tried so hard for so long to do after my assault and harassment on the job. I had tried to micromanage the trauma, and it eventually imploded on me. So, I unhid his comment and replied; "The purpose of the Farnham photo is to show me in training - as I talk about in "Sign of Life" and "As You Were" - how I was sexually assaulted by a platoon member on BMQ. Know your audience before commenting. It takes guts to come forward and even more to go public about these things. Especially in a Military environment and with a Military/Veteran audience to view it". My response was intended to highlight to this apparent 'cornflake' - in this case, meaning 'new recruit', or 'newly minted' soldier type - that he should know his audience before putting forth his opinion - for fear he cause further damage to a person. Particulary in regards to sexual trauma.
All victims of sexual trauma are different. Some survive and some don't. Some thrive and some simply tough it out. Not all victims find it necessary to report sexual violence in order to move forward from it, either. Often times, if they do report the offences it will not be immediately following the offence. It sometimes takes years for victims to build up the emotional and psychological strength and courage to come forward. Some feel that the reporting process and the system, itself re-victimizes them; I have seen this happen far too often, as a police officer, as a victim advocate, and as a survivor. Many victims are hesitant to give voice to the violation, the pain, the degradation, and the feeling of helplessness. Fragile and traumatized, some victims just aren’t ready; physically, emotionally and psychologically to come forward - some never do.
For Military members, add to that the ‘soldier on’ and ‘suffer in silence’ attitude and ethos I have mentioned before; as well as the complicated reporting process, and harassment complaint process; dealing with the chain of command and being interviewed again and again by various parties and forced to re-live the trauma over and again. It doesn’t make it an easy process for those who have already been traumatized.
A victim’s relationship with the offender also has a strong effect on the likelihood of reporting. In a Military environment, these relationships are often peers or superiors, with whom the victims are supposed to entrust their well-being. Often times, it is a co-worker or a member of their chain of command of a higher rank than themselves. And, it is a workplace setting wherein, they are trusting, that when they report this type of offence, it will not affect their career; their livelihood, and their meaning and purpose. That is often not the case. Most often, victims of these offences are met with the same contempt and sarcastic jabs as the one my blog post was met with yesterday – by a supposed ‘brother’; and who referred to my writings as a ‘Mommy blog’.
In his case, I cannot blame him entirely for his attitude. He is a young, new soldier who has been trained in such a way that he must feel that this behaviour is appropriate and acceptable. To me, that shows that; despite Madame Deschamps' investigation and report on Sexual Misconduct in the Canadian Armed Forces, and the ensuing ‘Op Honour’ and all that it was supposed to entail to, “rid the military of sexual misconduct”; that the same things are still being taught. That the new troops are still coming out of St Jean with the same shitty attitudes that will hurt their peers and make it difficult to impossible for those suffering in silence; with PTSD, OSI’s, MST or other illness and injury resulting from service to their country. Make it difficult, to impossible to rely on their brothers and sisters, and to report and deal with these traumas.
For me, this post came immediately before hearing that Veterans Affairs was having me assessed for 'diminished capacity' and long term disability resulting from my illness and injury obtained throughout service. Not an easy thing for someone who has been strong and independent and 'soldiering on' most of her life to hear. That, in itself would normally be enough to derail my progress for a time and force me to pull myself back up by my bootstraps, yet again. Then add to that, having my courage to come forward and show my true and authentic self scoffed at by a 'cornflake' who referred to what I've so openly shared with you all - about my struggles and my fight (for my life, in some cases) - as a 'mommy blog'. This is why so many military members and veterans 'suffer in silence'.
How do we change this? How do we support one another better? How do we train our new recruits to be just as strong as soldiers, but more empathetic as human beings? Can empathy be taught? Can we keep our soldiers strong and empathetic without training, and socializing the compassion out of them?
I would love to hear people's comments and thoughts!
**No 'Cornflakes' allowed though! Keep sarcasm and cruelty off this page, please. It's counterproductive and unnecessary.**
One Call Away
I was sitting watching Chicago Fire last evening, and it got me thinking about loyalty and brotherhood; about what that truly looks like versus what I had seen throughout my military career (the first few months and last few months, especially). My dog, Milo must have sensed my stress because he got up and paced around the room, checking every window and doorway and barking at each. He checked every possible entrance, let me know all was well and then laid down on the couch next to me, with his head on my lap; indicating that we were safe and he had my back. It was like myself or one of my comrades doing a perimeter check or clearing a room.
I got thinking about his life, and how he’d had a very difficult and traumatic beginning. Thinking about how he was horribly and violently abused, not properly fed or house-trained and how he was punished for accidents and other normal canine behaviours. It was obvious to me that, despite that he had a very good, happy and calm life now, and that he was safe and well-cared for now, he was still seeing the effects of this violent and difficult beginning. It had been clear from the start that he had some form of Post-Traumatic Stress resulting from this abuse and neglect. And, despite how he was treated now, and despite how far he had come he still reverted back now and again. And, he still worried about the other animals and people in his life; his pack, who had his back when he needed them, as well. That his action of getting up and pacing around, doing a perimeter check and calling out to me that all was well, then sitting with me and comforting me to assure that I was well, could be likened to the actions of those of my brothers and sisters who actually did have my back and, each other’s back.
This got me thinking about a situation that occurred while I was still posted to Kingston; a situation with a female Corporal who was new to our detachment, and who didn’t know any of us/or us her, at that time. How, her reaction to a situation could have been fatal, were it not for someone else’s inherent calmness and ability to quickly assess and react accordingly. Then, adding fuel to the fire, her reaction to being called out about this particular incident; how she was not in the wrong and how she didn’t do what was reported she had done. In a nutshell, how we were all bad at our jobs but she was squared away. How, this particular Corporal would sell her entire unit down the river to save her own ass, and how dangerous that could be for those working with her. It didn’t take long for others to realize she didn’t have their back and, for some to refuse to work with her because of this. And, I didn’t blame them, at all. The possibility of being put in harm’s way because one of your comrades or your partner doesn’t have your back is unnerving. I thought about how polar opposite her behaviour was to that of Milo's, and how sad that was since we were supposed to be a part of one another's 'pack'.
Part of the problem, was that she was new to the detachment and hadn’t got to know or care about the well-being of her new comrades. But that shouldn’t be an issue in a sub-culture where all are supposed to be there for one another and to have each other’s six; both on the road and at home, ideally. In a sub-culture that is supposed to work together like a well-oiled machine; like a pack. But it does matter. It’s a big problem. The constant changes in staffing, resulting from postings and the constant changes in leadership don’t just effect team cohesion and morale, it also effects work environment and officer safety, equally sometimes. It's like introducing a new dog into a cohesive pack of dogs and expecting them not to fight for dominance.
By the time you’ve been at a detachment for a few years, you’ve developed a sense of your brothers and sisters; who they are, where they are in that 'pack' and who you work best with; who truly has your six. You develop a good routine, you know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and work, in this team environment, with this knowledge and within one another’s abilities. You learn to trust them, and know when they have your back, and you theirs.
Just like, by having been with me for two and a half years now; seeing my reaction to situations and getting to know my fears, my triggers and my stressors, Milo now has a very good sense of how to support me, as I do him. He’s one of my ‘brothers’ now; an unofficial service dog. And, I’m his and his unofficial service human. We belong to the same pack, which means we are sworn to protect one another and have one another’s backs regardless of what that means or looks like. So, should be the way with all members of the blue and green brotherhoods.
In the canine world, packs succeed because they rely on one another to survive and they don’t let one another down. Unlike their human counterparts, however, dogs are naturally pack animals, who prefer to be with other animals and a part of a pack. It is easy for them to bond with and want to protect those they perceive as members of their pack. Unlike their human counterparts, dogs are also naturally loyal. They’re instinctual, which means that their loyalty is neither contrived nor thought out. They love and protect, unconditionally. As should be the way between blue and green brothers and sisters. Our canine counterparts come when you call them but don't always need to be called. They sense what we need and provide it to us, unconditionally. Would't that be nice to have within our human packs, as well?